13 May 2008

How To Disagree?

If you want to be a successful orator, you need to disagree without offending the other party’s proposition. Oratorical ability is one of the keys for successful leadership. It is the salt in the soup.

We need friends, colleagues, family, and many others. Life will be lonely if we do not have these relationships. Communication builds or breaks these relationships if we are not careful in what we transpire.

But then perfect agreement in a conversation is boring and impedes development of ideas. Total disagreement is the main factor for all conflicts. A middle path is chosen.

Disagree politely

In a conversation, do not disagree totally. Reading makes a man and so will his thoughts. The proposition can be disagreed partly and politely if you can use proper words and phrases. Use words like ‘suggestion’ rather than ‘opinion’. Use phrases like ‘If I may add some to your idea…’, ‘My suggestion is this…’

Try not to use the word ‘but’ as it give a signal of disagreement. Instead, use the word ‘and’. ‘You have all heard Mr George’s remarks and I will like to say something here…’

Conditions vary

A man walks holding a piece of wood in his hand. He drops it. What are the probabilities?

The wood falls
The wood floats
The wood rise up

The above probabilities vary with situations or in which conditions the man let go the wood. The wood falls if he is on earth – force of gravity. If he is outer space it floats. If he is under water – the wood rise up.

Therefore, if a proposition is put forward there must be an ‘environment’ which supports it. Remember, there is always an environment which supports a proposition. You need to see the other point of view.

Be less emotive

In any discussion or meeting, use much less emotion. Use more thinking ability in your suggestions. If your emotion can be managed, you can bring forward a better piece of picture in your ideas.

Man cannot live by bread alone. Currently, even man lives by internet he has to communicate in a subtle manner. If you need a business deal disagree with caution.
If you want that relationship, my suggestion is that you disagree partly and politely.

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